I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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