I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The best revenge is premature balding
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
