do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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