You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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