he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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