Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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