Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize