If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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