with your own penis?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
