He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
