I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize