Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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