Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
