HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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