i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I wish i was in the wii world.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
