sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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