I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
