Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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