There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
