so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
