All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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