then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
