God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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