I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
