Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
