I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
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he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
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Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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