Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
