My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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