State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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