look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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