It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize