I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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