took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
