am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
