Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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