the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
