last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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