Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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