He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
