I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
