you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize
