But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize