I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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