my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am midnight drunk by noon
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
