what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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