Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
