Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
