Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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