On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
