I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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