I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!