I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
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We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?