Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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