Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
