need another drink. this is the easiest way
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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