Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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