Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
even my farts smell like vagina
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
