FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
