So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
