what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
