garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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