It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize