I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
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she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
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I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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